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Helping Your Child Navigate School Phobia: A Guide for Parents

As a parent, it’s natural to worry when your child suddenly starts dreading school. You might notice vague symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, or even full-blown panic attacks when it’s time to go to school. These signs could indicate school phobia—a growing issue among children, especially young ones, as they face the challenges of the classroom environment.


Kids standing in front of  a bus

Understanding the Rise in School Phobia


In recent years, there has been a noticeable increase in cases of school phobia, where children, particularly first-grade girls, exhibit symptoms like stomachaches, headaches, or overwhelming anxiety about going to school. Often, these symptoms start on Sunday nights and persist through the school week.


Despite their distress, when these children are brought home, their symptoms often quickly subside, leaving parents puzzled and concerned.

Parents might feel relieved to learn that these symptoms aren't indicative of a serious medical condition.


However, this raises an important question: What’s causing these symptoms, and how can they be addressed?


Identifying School Phobia


School phobia, or school refusal, is more than just a child not wanting to go to school. It’s a real and distressing anxiety disorder that can significantly impact a child’s well-being and education. The symptoms are genuine, even if they aren't tied to a severe physical illness. The key to addressing school phobia is recognizing that the child’s discomfort is rooted in anxiety, not a physical ailment.


Your first step should be consulting a pediatrician to rule out any underlying medical issues. A detailed history and careful examination can often clarify whether the symptoms are anxiety-related.


A mom with two kids at school

The Role of Parents and Schools in Managing School Phobia


Once school phobia is identified, the path to treatment begins at home and within the school. It’s crucial for parents to understand that while their instinct might be to pick up their child from school at the first sign of discomfort, this can unintentionally reinforce the anxiety. When children realize that expressing these symptoms leads to being taken home, it can create a cycle of avoidance that exacerbates the problem.


To break this cycle, parents should collaborate closely with their child’s school. Begin by discussing the situation with the teacher and involving the school counselor. Both are likely familiar with school phobia and can employ strategies to help your child adjust to the classroom environment. Teachers and counselors can provide support and create a positive experience that encourages your child to stay in school.


When to Involve School Personnel


School phobia is a form of anxiety disorder, and school counselors can be instrumental in helping children develop coping skills. These might include techniques to calm physical symptoms triggered by anxiety, such as deep breathing exercises or mindfulness practices. Many schools now offer "calm rooms" or designated spaces where children can regroup and practice these techniques before returning to class.


If your child's teacher and counselor need additional support, consider involving the school principal. Principals can play a vital role in monitoring the child’s well-being and addressing any underlying issues, such as bullying, that might contribute to their anxiety.


A young girl in mental health therapy session

Seeking Professional Help for School Phobia


If school-based interventions aren’t sufficient, it may be time to seek help from a mental health professional. Therapy is often the most effective treatment for school phobia, as it provides children with tools to manage their anxiety in the long term. However, finding a therapist who works with young children can be challenging, especially given the current demand for mental health services.


For younger children, therapy is usually preferred over medication. Anxiety medications are typically only approved for children aged 12 and up, and their use in younger children should be carefully considered by a mental health professional. If your child’s therapist believes medication may be necessary, they can help you find a provider who specializes in pediatric anxiety disorders.


Why Is School Phobia Increasing?


The reasons for the rise in school phobia aren’t entirely clear, but several factors may be at play. The increase in anxiety disorders among older children and adults may be influencing younger children. Additionally, the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic, such as extended periods of isolation and limited social interaction, have left some children feeling anxious about being away from home.


Whatever the cause, it’s important for parents to address school phobia early. The sooner the issue is recognized and managed, the better the outcomes for the child. With the right support from parents, schools, and mental health professionals, children can overcome school phobia and thrive in the classroom.

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